Are you hesitant to start therapy because you worry you won’t have anything to talk about? Or maybe you are already seeing a counselor and feeling like your nerves are getting in the way of you truly opening up! Believe it or not, many people who begin therapy feel directionless when they first start. It’s completely normal— if not expected— for clients to have many therapy sessions where they may not know what to say. This experience can feel scary or discouraging at first, so it’s important to recognize when this sort of fear is holding you back from seeking or receiving the help you are hoping for.

Here are some tips and strategies to help you when you have nothing to say in therapy:

Don’t force it.

It’s important to remember that therapy is not about performing or having all the answers. It’s okay to feel stuck or unsure of what to talk about. In fact, this can be a valuable opportunity to explore what’s going on beneath the surface. If you’re feeling stuck, take a moment to acknowledge it and be gentle with yourself. Don’t force yourself to talk about something just because you think you should. Instead, try to sit with the discomfort and see if any insights or thoughts emerge naturally.

2. Talk about the process.

If you’re struggling to come up with specific topics to discuss, consider talking about your experience of therapy itself. Let your therapist know that your anxiety before sessions is holding you back! This can include discussing your relationship with your therapist, your expectations for therapy, and any fears or concerns you may have about the process. This can be a helpful way to explore any obstacles that may be preventing you from engaging fully in therapy and can also help you develop a deeper understanding of your own needs and desires.

3. Use prompts or worksheets.

If you’re struggling to come up with specific topics, consider using prompts or worksheets to guide your thinking. Many therapists offer worksheets or prompts to help clients explore their thoughts and feelings. These can be helpful tools for getting your mind working and may help you identify specific areas you’d like to explore further. Your therapist may also be able to suggest specific prompts or worksheets that are tailored to your needs.

4. Create a plan.

Ask your therapist if you can set certain expectations for each session so that showing up doesn’t feel so intimidating. This might look like having an established routine, like starting each session with an emotions check-in or a guided meditation. Let your therapist know what you need! They are there to support you.

5. Take a break.

If you are noticing that the feeling doesn’t subside over time, check in with yourself. Do you feel safe with your therapist and the therapeutic space? Determine if you’d like to see someone else or if these are feelings that are helpful to work through with your current therapist. This might be a tough conversation to bring up with your therapist, but it might also be a necessary one. If you feel things aren’t working out, send your therapist an email asking to talk about things during the next session or consider asking for outside referrals.

In all, know that it is very normal to feel hesitation to share vulnerable feelings with your therapist. Also know that your therapist is trained to handle these sorts of situations! Chances are, if you are feeling it, your therapist is noticing it, too.

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